Mental Warfare

5:51:00 PM

We're going to see an apartment later today. I tried contacting three that I saw online but only one responded. I'm praying that it's somewhat nice. I really liked one that was a 3 bedroom and 2 baths. It's near impossible to find a 4 bedroom so the kids will have to share. The only problems are that the owner for this one did not respond to my inquiry and one of the bedrooms is way too small for a nursery with two cribs. Hell, from the picture online, it seems too small for one crib and maybe a side table. Hopefully, the one we see today has bigger bedrooms. 

My kids' school has a new principal and for whatever reason she's starting the first day of school in August, weeks before Labor Day. WTF!?! I already have enough stuff to do. Now, add on to that, uniform shopping and back-to-school shopping. Sigh!

My mom has been trying to start with her mental warfare games. It's crazy that I have to constantly be on the defensive. She's been texting my husband a lot and sharing things with him that really she should be just telling me directly. She knows she can't do this with me because I'll just shut everything down. For example, she claims she ran into my godmother recently and told her that I was pregnant and now my godmother all of a sudden wants to come visit me. She texts my hubby about this. So, of course, my hubby relays the message to me. 

Now, the reason why my mom didn't want to tell me directly is because when I was pregnant with my first son, both her and this godmother did everything in their power to make me feel inferior, inadequate, lesser-than, second-class, etc. My godmother treated me like I was the anti-Christ with her Bible thumping ways. They declared I was an atheist and would ruin my child, even though I wasn't an atheist. Just because I had questions as a child about God, they labeled me an atheist since then. I have no plans to go through that again. I have long since distanced myself from my godmother. 

I saw through my mom's text and told my hubby that I wouldn't be accepting social calls now or even after I have the twins. I see now that I will have to put my mom on notice as well. I will also make sure that she does not have the key to our apartment. She talked me into giving her a key to our place with our first son, and she abused her privileges by bringing her friends and my sister and her family to our place on separate occasions even though I said I wanted to rest after having my first child and would just like some time alone. I will also have to ask my OB whether or how I can limit the visitors to my hospital room when I have the twins. Yes, nowhere was safe or off-limits for me when I had my first child. My mother gave her obnoxious friends (that I did not know) my hospital room number and they just stopped by unannounced and uninvited. She did the same thing when my husband was in the hospital. Um, wtf?!? We don't know these people. Then, if that wasn't enough, she arranged for a priest to come talk to me in my hospital room about baptism. Um, I just gave birth less than 24 hours ago, can I heal in peace? Can I baptize my child when I see fit? Needless to say, she had plenty of fun at my expense. 

So, for this pregnancy, I really want things to be stress- and bullshit- free. I just want to heal and enjoy my newborns and my older kiddies. My hubby told me that my mom plans on taking off time from work to “help” with the twins. Sigh! I'm sure she has stuff up her sleeve. I'll have to tell her that if she wants to help, she has to agree to do so by herself and not with her overbearing Bible-thumping negative decrepit entourage in tow. I'm not trying to go to jail or a psycho ward. I just want to keep my sanity and have peace in my home. It's crazy that I have to always be on top of things like this, but she really leaves me no choice.

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